John Newton commends “family worship” in this letter with some general principles about how to do it. He recommends that each morning and evening the family should gather mainly for prayer, but also for Scripture reading and possibly hymn singing. Also, married couples should pray together, just the two of them. Daily private devotions are assumed.
“On Family Worship”
1. Far too many professing Christians neglect family worship. I am glad you purpose to lead your household in this when you have the opportunity. May God make you like Abraham, who “commanded his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord” (Gen 18.19), and consequently experienced the Lord’s blessing.
2. You may wish I would give you very specific rules about how and when to conduct family worship, but family circumstances differ greatly, and Scripture is not precise about the details, either. You must judge for yourself when the time comes. Do what works best for your family and do not bind your conscience scrupulously where Scripture has left you free.
3. No set schedule for times for prayer is prescribed in Scripture, though it does teach that we should pray much: “continuing steadfastly in prayer,” Rom 12.12; “pray without ceasing,” 1 Thess 5.17. Daniel prayed three times a day (Dan 6.10) and so did the psalmist (Psa 55.17). Once he even mentions seven times but this may only mean he prayed very often each day (Psa 119.64). The one who loves God most will not want to be told how often to pray, any more than best friends need rules for frequent conversation. “Love is the best casuist” (i.e., advisor on cases of conscience). A believer is happiest when he is most inclined to pray with the most time to indulge it. All this is true, but family prayer should be kept up at least once a day, and, circumstances permitting, twice. How good to begin and close each day this way! Each morning we can thank God for preserving us through the night and ask His blessing upon us and our activities for the rest of the day. Each night we can praise Him for the mercies He has shown us, ask forgiveness of the sins we committed that day, plead for assurance of His gracious love, and commit our safety through the night into His hands. The best times each day depend on your particular situation, but try to keep them regular and do not wait until too late in the evening when sleepiness sets in. Perhaps just before the last meal of the day is a good time.
4. Besides prayer, it is good to read a little Scripture and sing a hymn if you have a good enough singer to lead this part of your exercise. Otherwise, prayer and Scripture reading are enough. Don’t drag it out too long.
5. The main thing is that family worship should be a deeply spiritual experience. Some show more concern for punctuality and fall into formalism which should be avoided at all costs. Be very sensitive to any unconverted family members. Make family worship helpful to them and do not annoy them if you can help it. Let the leader, by consistent love and godliness every day, gain sympathy for the habit of family worship. Beginning and ending each day with family prayer is a reminder and incentive to good behavior during the day, as Peter exhorted husbands, “Dwell with [your wife] with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Pet 3.7), that is, the prayers offered together. Besides, true piety in the home with family worship tends to win the children for the Lord. God doesn’t need our service, but we stand to benefit in our offering it to Him.
6. I offer further guidance to husband and wife. It goes without saying that each should also have their private devotions. Besides that, they ought to pray with each other every day, each one praying aloud for the other. While women may not lead the gathered church in prayer, Scripture allows a wife to pray aloud with and for her husband in private, so I recommend it.
7. If some heads of families are timid or feel incapable of leading in prayer, let them make use of devotional books with prayers they can read aloud. These can be a temporary crutch until their own initially few and feeble extemporaneous petitions can grow and stand on their own. With such helps there is no excuse for not leading family worship.
8. That family which so constantly and conscientiously keeps up God’s worship can expect His rich blessing. Of course you will still suffer all kinds of troubles and trials, since God knows you need them for your spiritual growth and other good reasons. But you will have His comforts in your soul as you honor Him this way. Both you and your neighbors will see that you have not sought the Lord for nothing. He will hear and answer your prayers in many ways. Your household will be truly blessed more than the prayerless ones.
9. I’ve written more than I intended, so I only ask one more thing. Please remember me in your prayers. Signed, JN.
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The recovery of family worship in modern Christian homes is a huge challenge. All kinds of social and cultural pressures, beyond what John Newton’s generation knew, work against it. Today, few families even enjoy a daily meal together with any regularity. Consistent family worship is relatively rare even in many of the better churches. Though Newton presents his case so winsomely and without legalistic rigor, his advice can seem daunting. He envisions at least four daily exercises of worship for spouses with children—one private, one as a couple, and two with the whole family. I have never known a single family that maintained all these with any regularity.
But let us not throw up our hands and dismiss Newton’s godly influence altogether. A daily private prayer time joined with at least one brief family prayer meeting is not unattainable for most, even in the hectic 21st century. Baby steps always come before mature strides in anything. The important thing is that we are spiritually alive and making real progress. Ω