D. Scott Meadows

Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil (KJV).

or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful (ESV).

Love is everything, ethically speaking, according to the Bible. Hence it is so important that we understand what Christian love really is.

Paul describes it in many ways in 1 Corinthians 13, “the love chapter,” poetic in its beauty. Let us focus on verse five where he tells us what love is not. Perhaps we are prone to think love may be consistent with these things, which Paul denies. Whenever we are feeling toward others, or treating others, in any of the wrong ways exposed by this verse, we should recognize that this is sin and repent immediately with heartfelt contrition. And we should always be on guard against these sins to which we are so prone because of our fallenness.

When We Behave in Any Disgraceful or Inappropriate Way

The old KJV rendering is nearer the Greek. To “behave unseemly” (“not properly or appropriately,” SOED) is an excellent translation of the original word which means to “behave disgracefully, dishonorably, indecently” (BDAG). The ESV’s “rude” is within the semantic range but arguably too narrow. Rudeness is only one type of unseemly behavior. For example, “to act indecently may have sexual overtones” (BECNT, in loc.).

The term Paul uses is built upon a foundational belief that there is a proper, decent, respectful, and polite way people ought to relate to one another at all times, and when these standards of interpersonal courtesy are violated, we are not treating each other with the love exhibited in Christ and required of us by Christ. Good manners are a part of Christian conduct. We may scoff at old-fashioned writers on etiquette like Emily Post—if we have even heard of them. But while some of the customs may have gone a bit overboard, these social sensitivities reflected a worldview more consistent with Christian love than today. Just remembering the Golden Rule and applying it in everyday life would go a long way toward proper interactions with one another. Modern popular culture has thrown all this out the window, and little is considered so crude or rude as to deserve serious censure! Holding doors for others, listening patiently, speaking with a friendly tone of voice, and other kind gestures like these cut closer to the heart of what it means to act like a true Christian than we might suppose.

When We Are Selfish

“Charity” or “love” translates a Greek noun of the grammatical feminine gender. “Seeketh not her own” (KJV) reflects this and is a very literal rendering. “Does not insist on its own way” (ESV) is, I think, an acceptable modern alternative.

Self-interest can be completely legitimate in its proper place and degree. Our problem, spiritually, is that we have too little concern about the best interests of others, especially when they come into conflict with what we want for ourselves. A popular song called “I Love Me” is an embarrassing revelation of how sin has made all of us feel. One part goes, “I don’t mean to brag, I don’t mean to boast / I love all y’all, but I love me the most.” The song glories in this crass selfishness. Our culture is so depraved!

We can and should yield to others’ wishes so much more often than we do. Never sacrifice moral principle—but usually, when we insist on having it our own way, that isn’t involved. True godliness is most congenial and sweetly reasonable. The most godly person is excellent company and typically puts others at ease in his or her presence, because of an humble agreeableness which everyone welcomes.

When We Are Irritable

Perhaps both translations are equally good for this phrase. The Greek original means “to become incited or stirred up (in one’s emotions, feelings, or reactions)” (LBSL), and, “to become irritated, angry” (BDAG). Nabal (whose name means “fool”) was so bad in this way that his wife described him as “such a worthless man that one cannot speak to him” (1 Sam 25.17 ESV). No doubt, his sweet wife Abigail had learned this by bitter experience when he habitually barked at her over the slightest provocation. In this, Nabal was utterly failing to love his wife. Women are not immune from the same vice, either.

When We Think Worse of Others than We Must

The sense of the KJV and ESV differ greatly here, the former translating strictly and the latter interpreting for us—perhaps not so well. To “think evil” of others is a biblical idiom that means to “impute evil” (YLT) to them without enough justification. One might do that without being “resentful” (ESV). Cynicism is a sin. Positively, love toward others constrains us always to hope for the very best in others concerning their actions and motives. Sometimes the facts constrain an adverse judgment, but love will make us extremely reluctant to go there.

What a list of four specifics for self-examination and repentance! Only by a knowledge of God’s Word, faith in Christ, and the filling of the Holy Spirit can we expect to make progress in this true and virtuous love. Ω