D. Scott Meadows

God gave us two ears and only one mouth for a reason. Who doesn’t appreciate a good listener? Especially for the sake of our relationship with God, but also in our relationships with people, we need to hone our skills in the humble art of patient listening—really listening—not just listening momentarily to think about what we will say next. Few people are very good at listening to understand clearly what the speaker is saying and what he or she means by it. A good test of your skills in this is to paraphrase what you’ve heard and ask if it is correct.

God’s speech is more important than ours. Hearing God takes precedence over talking to Him. He knows what we think already, but we are in the dark about His thoughts without His instruction.

Even in human relationships, “you talk too much” would be a serious criticism if true, and everyone knows this. One Southerner I heard put it memorably. “That guy could blow up a [sic] onion sack!” For those who don’t know, this is a sack with more holes than threads.

Scripture in both Testaments makes a big deal about this issue. Consider these verses, about which I will, fittingly, only make brief comments.

Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile (Psa 34.13). Only God’s grace and our deliberate effort have a prayer of accomplishing this.

I said, I will take heed to my ways, that I sin not with my tongue: I will keep my mouth with a bridle, while the wicked is before me (Psa 39.1). Sinful speech is inevitable for us unless it be forcefully restrained.

In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise (Prov 10.19). Moral safety often requires silence. If you have nothing good to say, don’t say anything.

Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin (Prov 13.3 ESV). As gratifying as it may be to speak your mind, wouldn’t you rather stay alive?

The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness (Prov 15.2). The fool of Proverbs is a morally-depraved person, and habitually dominating conversations is a symptom of depravity.

He that hath knowledge spareth his words: and a man of understanding is of an excellent spirit. Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding (Prov 17.27, 28). This is probably the inspiration behind the famous remark attributed to Abraham Lincoln, “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt.”

He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him (Prov 18.13). Look before you leap, and listen before you speak.

Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles (Prov 21.23). Great and unnecessary suffering comes to the person with a big mouth.

Keep thy foot when thou goest to the house of God, and be more ready to hear, than to give the sacrifice of fools: for they consider not that they do evil. Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heart be hasty to utter any thing before God: for God is in heaven, and thou upon earth: therefore let thy words be few (Eccl 5.1, 2). Prayers are not better just because they are long. Often we should just pray, “Have mercy, Lord!,” or, “Thank You, Lord!,” or, “Glory to You, Lord!”

But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking. Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him (Matt 6.7, 8). It is not as if we must either inform our heavenly Father or explain anything to Him so that He may come to our rescue.

But I say unto you, that every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment (Matt 12.36). “Idle” translates a Greek word which negates the word “work,” and here it means every careless word, uttered without thought. Jesus strongly implies we should not blather.

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath (Jas 1.19). These three virtues are linked. Good listening requires less talking and helps against angry outbursts.

If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man’s religion is vain (Jas 1.26). Real Christians all practice verbal restraint on the basis of moral principle. Loose lips sink ships—and souls.

Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body (Jas 3.1, 2 ESV). We all need to be extremely cautious about sinful speech, whether we are teachers or not, for we all have said things that are irreverent, false, and hurtful, and we all remain vulnerable to that sin.

Let me conclude by asking forgiveness of the many who have known me to listen too little and talk too much. Please pray for me. Ω