Arthur W. Pink

One of the saddest and most tragic features of our twentieth-century¹ “civilization” is the awful prevalence of disobedience on the part of children to their parents during the days of childhood and their lack of reverence and respect when they grow up. This is evidenced in many ways and is general, alas, even in the families of professing Christians. In his extensive travels during the past thirty years, the writer has sojourned in a great many homes. The piety and beauty of some of them remain as sacred and fragrant memories, but others of them have left the most painful impressions. Children who are self-willed or spoiled not only bring themselves into perpetual unhappiness but also inflict discomfort upon all who come into contact with them. [They] augur,² by their conduct, evil things for the days to come.

In the vast majority of cases, the children are not nearly so much to be blamed as the parents. Failure to honor father³ and mother, wherever it is found, is in large measure due to parental departure from the Scriptural pattern. Nowadays the father thinks that he has fulfilled his obligations by providing food and raiment for his children, and by acting occasionally as a kind of moral policeman. Too often, the mother is content to be a domestic drudge,⁴ making herself the slave of her children instead of training them to be useful. She performs many a task that her daughters should do in order to allow them freedom for the frivolities of a giddy set.⁵ The consequence has been that the home, which ought to be— for its orderliness, its sanctity,⁶ and its reign of love—a miniature heaven on earth, has degenerated into “a filling station for the day and a parking place for the night,” as someone has tersely expressed it.

Before outlining the duties of fathers toward their children, let it be pointed out that they cannot properly discipline their children unless they have first learned to govern themselves. How can they expect to subdue self-will in their little ones and check the rise of an angry temper if their own passions are allowed free reign?

The character of fathers is to a very large degree reproduced in their offspring: “And Adam lived an hundred and thirty years, and begat a son in his own likeness, after his image” (Gen 5:3). The father…must be in subjection to God if he would lawfully expect obedience from his little ones. This principle is enforced in Scripture again and again: “Thou therefore which teachest another, teachest thou not thyself?” (Rom 2:21).

Of the bishop, that is, elder or pastor, it is written that he must be “One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)” (1Ti 3:5-6). And if a father knows not how to rule his own spirit (Pro 25:28), how shall he care for his offspring?

God has entrusted to fathers a most solemn charge, and yet a most precious privilege. It is not too much to say that in their hands are deposited the hope and blessing, or else the curse and plague, of the next generation. Their families are the nurseries of both Church and State, and according to the cultivating of them now will be their fruitfulness hereafter. Oh, how prayerfully and carefully should you who are parents discharge your trust!

Most assuredly, God will require an account of the children from your hands; for they are His and only lent to your care and keeping. The task assigned you is no easy one, especially in these superlatively⁷ evil days. Nevertheless, if trustfully and earnestly sought, the grace of God will be found sufficient in this responsibility as in others. The Scriptures supply us with rules to go by, with promises to lay hold of, and, we may add, with fearful warnings lest we treat the matter lightly.

Instruct Your Children. We have space to mention but four of the principal duties devolving⁸ on fathers. First, it is your duty to instruct your children. “And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up” (Deu 6:6-7). This work is far too important to allocate to others: parents, and not Sabbath School⁹ teachers, are divinely required to educate their little ones. Nor is this to be an occasional or sporadic¹⁰ thing, but one that is to have constant attention. The glorious character of God, the requirements of His holy Law, the exceeding sinfulness of sin, the wondrous gift of His Son, and the fearful doom that is the certain portion of all who despise and reject Him are to be brought repeatedly before the minds of your little ones. “They are too young to understand such things” is the devil’s argument to deter you from discharging your duty.

“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Eph 6:4). It is to be noted that the “fathers” are here specifically addressed, and this for two reasons: (1) because they are the heads of their families and their government is especially committed to them; and (2) because they are prone to transfer this duty to their wives. This instruction is to be given by reading to them the Holy Scriptures and enlarging upon those things most agreeable to their age. This should be followed by catechizing¹¹ them. A continued discourse to the young is not nearly as effective as when it is diversified by questions and answers. If they know they will be questioned on what you read, they will listen more closely; and the formulating of answers teaches them to think for themselves. Such a method is also found to make the memory more retentive,¹² for answering definite questions fixes more specific ideas in the mind. Observe how often Christ asked His disciples questions.
______

1. The same sadly applies to our 21st century.
2. augur – predict; become a sign that something is about to happen.
3. EDITOR’S NOTE: Several articles in this issue are addressed to both parents—fathers and mothers. To emphasize the father’s role, parent is sometimes replaced with father in italics.
4 drudge – person made to do hard, dull work; slave.
5. frivolities…giddy set – silly behaviors of foolish people, incapable of serious thought.
6. sanctity – holiness.
7. superlatively – in the highest degree.
8. devolving – passing down.
9. Sabbath School – Sunday School.
10. sporadic – happening only occasionally.
11. catechizing – instructing in the Christian faith by means of question and answer.
12. retentive – able to store facts and remember things easily.

From Studies in the Scriptures

A.W. Pink (1886-1952): Pastor, itinerate Bible teacher, author; born in Nottingham, England

Courtesy of Chapel Library