Richard Steele

And the wife see that she reverence her husband (Ephesians 5:33b).

II. NOW, LET US TRACE THIS REVERENCE OF THE WIFE TO HER HUSBAND IN ITS PATTERN, LAID BEFORE HER IN THE CONTEXT OF THESE WORDS. Here I affirm these two things:

1. That the wife ought to reverence her husband, as the church doth Jesus Christ: So, verse 22: “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord,” and verse 24, “Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.” Examples are prevalent, especially of wise and good people. Here is the example of all the wise and godly people in the world to persuade the wife to reverence her husband. The Apostle seems to say that it is as much a duty in the wife to be subject to the husband, as it is in the church to be subject to Christ…Two things proclaim the reverence that the church bears to Christ:

(1) The matter of her subjection: That is in everything…She doth not yield to him only so far as her interest or appetite permits her, but when he requires it…So saith the Apostle: “Let the wives be subject to their own husbands in every thing” (v. 24), that is, in everything that is not forbidden by a higher power, even the Law of God. Indeed, if a thing be only inconvenient, the wife may mildly reason and show the inexpediency⁵³ of it; but if she cannot convince and satisfy her husband, she must, if there be no sin in the case, submit her reason and her will to his.

(2) The manner of her subjection speaks her reverence: and that is free, willing, and cheerful. Thus, the church yields up herself to the will of her Husband, insomuch as it is made a kind of proverbial pattern: “With good will doing service, as to the Lord” (Eph 6:7), implying that the subjection and service that we perform to the Lord is with a goodwill. Such ought to be the subjection of the wife, most free and willing; so, as if there were but one will in two breasts…Therefore, a contradicting or grudging spirit is very unsuitable to the religious wife and ever leaves a sting in his heart and guilt in hers. For usually it is a sign of unmortified pride and self-conceit and entails the curse of unquietness upon the family…If the husband’s government be too heavy, it is better for you to leave him to answer for his severity than for you to answer for your contempt.

2. The wife ought to reverence her husband, as the members do the Head. members do the Head. the Head. So, Ephesians 5:23: “For the husband is the head of the wife.” He is a head for influence and sympathy: that is her privilege. He is a head for eminence and rule: that is his. And how should she expect benefit from her head, if she do not honor her head? To dishonor a man’s head is always ranked among unnatural sins (1Co 11:4)…She must not cross the purposes of her head. It is preposterous for the head to go one way and the rib another. She must readily follow the directions and counsels of her head, for the members must not teach the head which way to go. They support it, but they do not direct it… it will be the wisdom and duty of the wife to be subject to the husband as unto her head (except cases wherein the head is crazed or notoriously distempered⁵⁴).

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48. meanly – poorly; as having little worth.
49. meanly accomplished – poorly skilled.
50. nonesuch – a person who has no equal; a model of excellence.
51. fear – a cautious diligence and care, not a slavish, cowering fear.
52. chaste conversation – holy, pure conduct.
53. inexpediency – disadvantages; unprofitableness.
54. distempered – mentally disordered.

From “What Are the Duties of Husbands and Wives Towards Each Other?” in Puritan Sermons 1659-1689, Being the Morning Exercises at Cripplegate, Vol. 1, reprinted by Richard Owen Roberts, Publishers.

Richard Steele (1629-1692): Puritan preacher and author; remembered as “a good scholar, a hard student, and an excellent preacher”; author of The Character of the Upright Man and others. Born at Bartholmley, Cheshire, England.

Courtesy of Chapel Library