Richard Steele

And the wife see that she reverence her husband (Ephesians 5:33b).

The great duty of every wife is to reverence her own husband. She stands obliged to many other duties, as you have heard, which lie common between them; but she is still signalized⁴⁶ by this. This is her peculiar qualification as she is a wife. Let her have never so much wisdom, learning, grace;⁴⁷ if she does not reverence her husband, she cannot be a good wife.

Look to her creation: She was made after man; he has some honor by his seniority. “For Adam was first formed, then Eve” (1Ti 2:13). She was made out of man; he was the rock whence she was hewn. “For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man” (1Co 11:8). She was made for man: “Neither was the man created for the woman, but the woman for the man” (1Co 11:9). So that it is not man that hath set this order, but God Himself. Look again to the Fall, and there you hear what God saith: “Thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee” (Gen 3:16). See in the New Testament, lest Christ’s being “made of a woman” should seem to alter this inviolable law: “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord” (Col 3:18). “Likewise, nye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands” (1Pe 3:1). “Your chaste conversation” must be “coupled with fear” (v. 2). “The holy women of old adorned themselves in subjection to their own husbands” (v. 5). And so in my ntext. Let her be never so great, never so good, and though her husband be never so mean and never so bad, yet this is her indispensable duty to reverence her husband…it is neither agreeable to nature nor decency to set the head below or no higher than the rib. And when she is resolved in this, then will she with much delight and ease go through her duty. A wise God hath ordered it thus, and therefore it is best.

I. FOR THE FIRST, THE NATURE OF THIS REVERENCE:

It is a true, cordial, and conjugal reverence, such as is peculiar to a good woman. And I conceive it is made up of,

1. The wife ought to honor and esteem her husband: “All the wives shall give to their husbands honor, both to great and small” (Est 1:20). To this end, she ought to contemplate all the excellencies of his person, whether of body or mind; to set a due value upon them and not to think meanly⁴⁸ of everything in her husband…And if the husband be but meanly accomplished,⁴⁹ yet she ought highly to value the excellency of his place, seeing the Holy Ghost hath in this very respect styled him “the image and glory of God” (1Co 11:7). Whatever he is in himself or to others, yet to the wife he is a nonesuch.⁵⁰ Such you esteemed him when you chose him, and so you ought still to esteem him…The wife ought to consider that her honor and respect among her family and neighbors doth very much rise and fall according to that which she bears to her husband, so that in honoring him she honors herself.

2. This reverence is made up of love: Which though it be most pressed upon the husband, yet is also the duty of the wife: “Teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children” (Tit 2:4). Thus Sarah, Rebekah, and Rachel left parents, friends, and country out of their entire love to their husbands…And indeed there is no better means to increase the husband’s love than the wife’s reverence, and that alone will make this sweet and easy.

3. Fear⁵¹ is the third ingredient into the reverence that the wife owes unto her husband…this is required: “A chaste conversation⁵² coupled with fear” (1Pe 3:2). The one is not sufficient without the other. This…is no more than a cautious diligence to please him and care lest she should offend him…

____

46. signalized – characterized; marked conspicuously.
47. Let…grace – no matter how much wisdom, learning, and grace she may have.
48. meanly – poorly; as having little worth.
49. meanly accomplished – poorly skilled.
50. nonesuch – a person who has no equal; a model of excellence.
51. fear – a cautious diligence and care, not a slavish, cowering fear.

From “What Are the Duties of Husbands and Wives Towards Each Other?” in Puritan Sermons 1659-1689, Being the Morning Exercises at Cripplegate, Vol. 1, reprinted by Richard Owen Roberts, Publishers.

Richard Steele (1629-1692): Puritan preacher and author; remembered as “a good scholar, a hard student, and an excellent preacher”; author of The Character of the Upright Man and others. Born at Bartholmley, Cheshire, England.

Courtesy of Chapel Library