John Dunlop, MD
In the first chapter of Finishing Well to the Glory of God, Dr. John Dunlop discusses six prescriptions to help us focus on the opportunities rather than the problems of aging. The first three prescriptions, posted previously here, are the following:
1. Recognize your God-given value.
2. Find purpose for each day.
3. Cultivate and maintain deep friendships.
This post consists of the second and final part of that chapter. Here the author offers three more prescriptions for living well and thus finishing well.
Laugh a Lot
It’s healthy for seniors to laugh and enjoy life with good friends. Ecclesiastes encourages “a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance” (Eccles. 3:4). Ed Creagan, a Mayo Clinic physician, has done a lot of careful thinking about successful aging. One of the things that he has high on his list of recommendations is that we maintain the ability to laugh well. I think that one of the most important jobs of grandchildren is to make sure their grandparents do a lot of laughing.
I make it a point to laugh with my patients. Some of them are quite sharp and funny: For some reason Betty and I got talking about cats during one of her visits. She was obviously a great cat lover, and I made it clear that cats were not my favorite companions. I had forgotten that little interchange, until her next visit when she rather emphatically announced to me that she had determined to get the best possible medical care. I said, “Oh?” wondering if she had gotten a different doctor or was going to the Mayo Clinic. She proceeded, “Yes, I feel it is only fair to tell you that I have contacted my attorney, and I am willing you my cat!” Fortunately for me, Betty has now outlived her cat.
Being a doctor has given me scores of opportunities to see how a sense of humor helps people cope during times of duress. For example, Rachel, though somewhat demented, was getting on fairly well with the help of her devoted husband. One Sunday night, however, she was admitted to the hospital. When I saw her early on Monday morning, her first comment to me was that she needed to get home. I said, “Well, wait just a minute. Let’s see what’s going on.” “No,” she quickly replied, “I want to go home right now. My husband doesn’t know where I am, and I want to go now. Come on, I just live over there (pointing nowhere in particular). You’re a policeman, and you can get me home.” Clearly she was delirious. The next day I saw her on rounds, and after saying good morning I asked if she knew where she was: “Victory Hospital.” She got that one right. Then I asked the tough one: “And Rachel, do you know what my name is?” No hesitation now: “Dr. Dunlop.” We went through the same routine the next day, only this time when I asked her my name her response was, “If you ask me that one more time, I’m finding a doctor who knows his name!”
I continue to have many good laughs with Betty and Rachel about the cat and the doctor who did not know his name.
Invest in Your Health
Being healthy enables us to continue to function well and serve others. But good health is not to be assumed. Granted, we can’t control everything. Some have inherited bad genes that predispose them to a variety of physical ills. But as we age, the state of our health depends less on our genes and more on the choices we make. We must choose to exercise our minds and bodies, maintain a good diet, pursue preventative medical care, and comply with treatment regimens that are helpful. Investing time and energy in maintaining health should be motivated by our love for God. It is one way we can be good stewards of what he has entrusted to us. Appendix 1 includes more discussion of these important subjects.
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Finishing Well to the Glory of God, by John Dunlop, MD
“Dying well is rarely a coincidence. Rather it results from choices made throughout life. After all, dying well is nothing more than living well right up till the end.” -From the Introduction
Finishing Well to the Glory of God: Strategies from a Christian Physician is available from Trinity Book Service.
Click on the following link to purchase: Finishing Well by John Dunlop, MD
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Avoid the Things that Rob Quality from the Older Years
It is not uncommon for believers to lead vibrant productive lives, but as the years go on some stumble over obstacles that cause them to lose their spiritual vigor. At times this indicates that they have never experienced saving faith and do not have the indwelling Holy Spirit. I suspect more often, though, it is due to their having unrealistic expectations of the end of life. In other cases, the early stages of dementia lead to false mental perceptions.
Some of the things that rob quality include:
Spiritual doubt. The trials and temptations that may cause us to doubt our faith may be more plentiful in our older years than at any other time in our Christian lives. Things may not be going as we had planned or expected. We may cry out to God and feel he does not hear. Nevertheless, we must recognize that we are called to a life of faith. The struggles of aging are a time to press on in faith even as we plead with God to increase our faith.
Discontent. The elderly, like all believers, are to be content. The circumstances that Paul faced were not encouraging, yet he remained content. It has been said that “contentment is a condition of the soul and not of the circumstances.”
Worry. Worry not only demonstrates a lack of faith and trust in the Lord, but it may amount to an undue preoccupation with self. If we truly had a passion for the glory of God, rather than our own comfort, we would worry much less.
Loss of the will to keep living well. Recall Fred, whom we talked about earlier. When he sat in the nursing home bed and said, “What’s the use?” he was demonstrating a loss of will. I have seen this come for four principle reasons: rationalization, dementia, laziness, and depression.
Rationalization often gives the argument: “I have lived a full life; I’m ready to die. There is no value in my continued living so Lord take me now.” That is how Fred would have expressed it, believing that such thinking made perfect sense. The problem is, the Lord did not take Fred home to heaven when Fred expected, and he kept on living.
It is not infrequent that the personality change of dementia may involve a loss of will. It is important for loved ones and caregivers to recognize this cause before they criticize.
Depression is very common in the elderly. It will frequently express itself as tearfulness, preoccupation with death, change in appetite, sleep patterns, etc.
Laziness can be the toughest one to deal with. To some extent Paul addressed this when he wrote: “And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all” (1 Thess. 5:14). The idle were the lazy, and they were to be admonished. That was different from the way the weak, who were to be helped, and the fainthearted, who were to be encouraged, were to be treated. The challenge, of course, is determining who is to being idle, who is fainthearted, and who is weak. Doing so can take a great deal of spiritual discernment.
I encourage any who are beginning to sense a lack of quality living to review these obstacles and ask if any of these are robbing value from them.
Conclusion
Quality living in our later years involves a series of choices we must make. First we choose to serve others. Then we pursue friendships and enjoy life together with others. We must be good stewards of our physical and mental health while at the same time carefully avoiding the things that can trip us up. In these ways we accomplish our first strategy to live well till the end.
Prayer
Our Father, how comforting it is to know the value you place on the later days of my life. Help me to steward well the gifts you give me. Lord, I pray that you will give me the faith, strength, and love to continue to work for your kingdom till you call me home. I pray this not for my own comfort but for the glory of your holy name. Amen.
Content taken from Finishing Well to the Glory of God by John Dunlop, MD, ©2011. Used by permission of Crossway, www.crossway.org.
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“Drawing from his years of experience as a physician who has shepherded countless patients through the ‘valley of the shadow of death,’ John Dunlop provides pastoral wisdom and sound strategies. Finishing Well to the Glory of God is filled with examples from his own life and practice, laced with rich Scriptures and punctuated with thoughtful prayers. Dr. Dunlop gently addresses spiritual, emotional, psychological, financial, and physical needs. This book helps us plan our final decades, months, weeks, and hours with a God-centered attitude toward death and dying.”
—Paige Cunningham, Executive Director, The Center for Bioethics and Human Dignity
“Don’t face your death or that of a loved one unprepared. Finishing Well to the Glory of God is the comprehensive, deeply Christian and readable resource I know of its kind and will prepare you and your loved ones to die well.”
—David Stevens, CEO, Christian Medical and Dental Associations
“The strategies Dunlop offers are clearly the result of years of experience in caring for persons in their twilight years. This book will be helpful for patients and families both before death and afterward.” —Robert Orr, MD, Professor of Medical Ethics, Loma Linda University, Center for Christian Bioethics
This fine book is available at Trinity Book Service. Click on the following link to purchase: http://www.trinitybookservice.com/finishing-well-dunlop.html